You may be disappointed to find this post is not about cars in any way. It’s about my brain. I don’t blame you for not wanting to read on – the title is a little deceiving.
I cannot think of a single morning in the last few months that I haven’t woken with a jump and within 3 seconds been whizzing through wedding-planning lists in my head at 60mph. It’s exhausting.
There are things nobody tells you about planning a wedding, particularly what happens to you in the lead-up. So I’m going to write the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
- Nightmares
Nobody told me I could suffer from bad dreams for about a month before the wedding. From the beginning of July, I have had a horrible dream, every night, without fail, and almost all of them involve the groom going missing in some way; whether that’s in the form of him running away abroad just to get away from me or just not turning up on the day, they’re always pretty stressful.
- Lack of sleep
The bad dreams make for a restless night, and total lack of sleep – oh and dark circles under the eyes, I might add. So much for beauty sleep! No such thing! If you’re a bride-to-be (and a worrier, like me), then your sleep will be completely disrupted. Even if consciously you feel fine, and even if every time someone asks you how you’re feeling your immediate response is ‘can’t wait’, sub-consciously you’re probably freaking out. I’m proof of this.
- Weight loss
I have probably been eating more than I usually do in the last few weeks, but the constant on-the-go life that comes with planning a wedding around a full-time job, means I’ve lost a little bit of weight just before the wedding. Thankfully, my dress still fits, but that’s not to say the weight loss didn’t contribute to a whole lot of stress before my final fitting.
- Hair loss
So I’m not sure if this is just one I’m suffering with or if there are lots of other blushing brides-to-be out there coping with what I like to call ‘malting’, but it’s not pretty and it means frequent vacuuming of the house. Bluntly, my hair is falling out, and it’s awful.
The reason?
- Stress
The big ‘S’ word. No real definition and hard to quantify as we all experience varying levels and symptoms, but it’s pretty overwhelming. I’ve been so easy to upset recently, so much more emotional, and for no real reason. I wouldn’t quite go as far to say bridezilla (because I’ve met some of those and they are of a different kind), but I’ve definitely been more sensitive, likely due to the heightened levels of Stress – capital S for emphasis.
So, I haven’t blogged in a long time but I’ve only just had some breathing space to start again. I’m getting married in 3 days’ time and, as far as I’m able to tell, everything is in place. Planning a wedding is like juggling 10 million balls for over a year, and then hoping that each and every one lands immaculately, all on the same day. It’s a wonder how we’ve done it, but somehow we are here with just a few days until ‘I do’. I’m so excited, and the feeling of being a Mrs to my Mr in a matter of days is all I have to focus on to remind myself that the stress and bad dreams and dark circles and weight loss and hair loss are worth it. Over and out as Miss, back as Mrs.
scribblephoenix 